The Williams Residence
8 Infinite Loop X San Francisco, California
“I can’t stand the way the lady across the street plays her music, it’s 9 AM in the morning and she’s playing Skrillex. She gets in her car and forgets to turn her thing off.” – Madison exclaimed, her tone was sleepy… As if she was having a lucid dream and in came a bunch of people from coachella, stepped on the roses… Wait, was the neighbors dog peeing on our flowers?
Lisa come here. Eat some of this bacon, I’m going to go aim the speakers away from our windows. Going to get rid of the dog while I’m at it… – I thought in my mind.
I walked across the front garden and passed the mailbox… No mail as usual, went to grab the dog and as I crossed the street, I tripped on my loafers, what I wear loafers… At least their not crocs or ugg boots… Well… I dropped the dog and he started to run away. As soon as that happened I saw Lisa pointing out the window to a zooming car coming down the street, it was the neighbor. She was putting the visor up as she parked and ran over the driveways curve… ran over one of my loafers. She also ran over her dog. She ran into her home, I could see through a window, maybe I should apologize.
She began undressing so I looked away, ran to my home and Lisa asked me what had happened? She was crying a bit, and I told her… ” Nothing… Her dog is in a happier place now.” I said, tried getting rid of the dirt off my loafer. She said… Oh okay, and continued eating her bacon. She turned on the Internet TV and asked Siri to put on some show about a talking triangle who was friends with a talking red character I couldn’t even explain.
Madison was walking down our main hall, “Ahh, thank you! That awful music is not playing anymore!” I somehow imagined a baby Jesus giving me a high five… But I refused him… So I imagined him turning furious and gave him it.
“So what’s the plan then?” Madison said as I saw the neighbor back out of her driveway, running over the dog once more… “Ummm… Madi there’s a bit of a problem… I…
She glanced at the tv, ” Siri, tell me Lisa’s school schedule”. Siri protested, ” Lisa hasn’t updated her calendar since last Friday, would you like to me sync it with her online teacher Mr. Wieling? Yes.
Madison… I think I’m going to loose my job, I heard the quantum computer CEO giving a speech to new members telling them that they had to step up their designs or he would shame them on Twitter. He had terrible jokes too… He asked them if they had seen the episode of Futurama when Babe Newell’s, Gabe’s computer wife had released Half Life 4… Half life 3 isn’t even out yet.
My team has been loosing points ever since that augmented reality product Apple came up with came out… The iGlasses or whatever… People are buying digital clothes. They just wear some silver suit. I saw a guy wearing nothing but a digital video of last nights late night show with Jimmy Fallon’s daughter, and his clothes kept changing to a tuxedo every two seconds, you’d expect him to atleast have a good signal if was wearing that.
“People are poor but they want to have a good image… He probably has class Dave.. You don’t even shave.” Madison seemed upset…
She held up her watch and said… Siri tell Lisa to get ready, we’re going to the park. As soon as Lisa heard that she started jumping up and down. They left, the door locked itself, the tv dimmed off and the fans stopped running.
“Siri… I’m still here.”
Sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that…
“Siri turn the fan back on or I’m telling on you.”
Oh okay… But Madison is going to leeeeeave youuuu.
And I’m going to replace you with Cortana. Now hush, turn on the tv and find me a new job.
Why don’t you sell your ancient video game library?
I love my video games.. No way. Turn on the TV.
The screen turned on, displayed my health center.
Siri, I know I’m a little big. Take down my health center.
You’re a little chubby aren’t you, yes you are!
Okay.. Sorry… What would you like to work on?
Pizza delivery is still popular… I mean cars can drive themselves to get it but who actually would send you to pick up pizza?
I’ll have you know.. I’ve been sent for pickups by others 2 billion + times…
Screw you Siri, you’re the best.
Madison is calling. Should I answer for you?
No, put her on the tv.
Hey… We’re at the park… Lots of water, have you heard anything from your design team?
No… I think they’re dead. Or… They haven’t pinged me since two days ago… One of them is in his apartment in Russia just sleeping probably.
Well… Me and Lisa are stopping by Jenna’s house. ” Hi Dave, How are you?!” I wanted to say I needed to take a poop, but how could I? Jenna is cool.
Well I’m fine.. I mean thank god we all work from home right!
Ummm… Yeah? I guess.
Dave, set Siri to turn on the water purifier when I’m approaching home. I’ll be there in a couple hours.
Alright… I’ll be here Madison, probably will fall back to sleep though. Click.
The tv show that was running was about a boy who had lost his way, and was living by himself with his mom and two cats. He seemed really happy all the time when he was with friends but, when he came home he just turned off… And in his mind he fell into a trance each night… Where he could dream anything he wanted. He dreamth of a world with no money and he had a plan to do it but he had to gain super powers first so he was talking to God. God in the tv show was a figure that bounced around the screen.
Yikes.. This guy is crazy. Change the show Siri.